The Cowardly Lion

Published April 17, 2013 by KalamityK

Why is it so hard to step out of your comfort zone? I tried this week and failed, and not for the first time. I gave it a go and spent the whole time panicking internally about what I was going to say to this stranger who decided to pick me for a partner. If I’d focused that nervous energy on what I was supposed to be doing instead of how much I didn’t want to do it, I possibly wouldn’t have looked like an idiot and wouldn’t have felt like I was letting this stranger down. I hated the feeling so much that I didn’t go back for day two. I retreated to the safety of my comfort zone and went to work instead.

But I’m gonna try again!

I’m starting an evening class next week that’s going to take me well out of my comfort zone and this time I’ve actually paid for the experience. I think I might be slightly bonkers.anxiety-girl-header2

I hate people seeing me get things wrong. I hate being in new situations without a friendly face that loves me no matter what and I hate looking like a fool… unless of course I’m choosing to be one.

Role play makes you look like a fool. There’s no getting around it. I won’t know what I’m doing and they’ll make me try it anyway, in front of other people. UGH. I know it won’t kill me or hurt me. I know everyone will be in the same situation but what my logical brain knows makes no difference to how my body reacts.

I’ve never been THAT person. You know, the one who bathes in attention. Don’t get me wrong, I like attention, just not while I’m under the spotlight. We should do away with spotlights so I wouldn’t have to keep trying to avoid them. I’m happy to stand in the background while my more outgoing friends get on with being all loud and noticeable. I’m usually the one happily tagging along behind.

When that tutor tells me I have to leave my beloved comfort zone I’m going to get anxious. My heart rate will hit the roof, my hands will get clammy, my tummy will do somersaults, my knees will literally shake and my brain will tell me to flee. It’s stage fright. It’s someone scared of heights standing on the top of that bridge, thinking of doing a bungee jump. Panic sets in.

social-anxiety

But I’ve spent over a hundred quid on this course so I won’t be able to just not go (like I did on the free taster course).  If I want to change things in my own life and make a difference in someone else’s then I’m going to need the skills they’re teaching in order to put my plans into practice.  But it’s OH SO VERY BLOODY SCARY!

anxiety

I’d like to be one of those people who aren’t afraid to just give things a go and that don’t mind if they look silly in the process, but I’m not. I never have been. I used to look at those people with envy. I guess I still do.  It’s why I’ve never taken singing lessons even though I think I might have quite a nice voice just waiting to be released … If I only went and learnt some techniques to improve what I have. But I never had the courage. I’m the cowardly lion.

The Cowardly Lion4

So how am I going to get over the anxiety? I don’t know but I have to. Anyone got any coping mechanisms you find useful when you’re feeling completely out of your depth?  

Advertisements

6 comments on “The Cowardly Lion

  • Hiya
    Welcome back. It’s good to hear from you again. I am doing something very similar at the moment. I needed a long term plan to change my job so I started an OU degree in february. It’s at a level I have NO experience of and I’m alone at home, studying in my onesie twice a week (I even have a plan to go to the graduation in the same attire). I love it though, I am using my brain and learning and I’m full of new ideas. Last week I got a distinction for an essay and it felt terrific. You can do it. I love knowing how to do things but hate learning them and getting them wrong which is why I don’t drive. You will be fine. xxxxx
    On another note, your title made me think of when I was a child watching Wizard of Oz, I didn’t know was courage was, I thought he wanted porridge!!

  • Hi Donna! It’s all quite exciting when you think of being on the other side of it all and actually living that life and doing it for real but getting there is a bugger. Really well done on the distinction! And all in a onesie. You truly are fabulous! lol I want to see photos of onesie graduation day please.

  • It should be noted that Cowardly Lion was still a Lion. He had a roar and teeth and muscle and claws, he just didn’t know he could use them. Remember all the things that you have about you that are strong and fabulous. You have a roar and teeth and muscle and claws, and wisdom and heart and curiosity to learn something new. Don’t let fear rob you of what is yours! You can become Powerful Lion – Raaaarrrrrrrrrhhhhhh!

    • I have a roar and muscles and teeth and claws… I have a roar and muscles and teeth and claws! Sounds like something Dorothy would tell the lion. Thanx for being my Dorothy xxx

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    PUA Lifestyle

    From Loser to Savage...Presented by Coach K

    The Gluten Free Blogger

    A gluten free, coeliac-friendly blog by Sarah Howells covering gluten free recipes, reviews, and living a healthy life - with plenty of gluten free pizza!

    Parenting And Stuff

    Not a "how to be a great parent" blog

    Running From Hell With E.L.

    The home of E.L. Farris online

    theincompetenthausfrau

    My life, distilled

    The Daily Post

    The Art and Craft of Blogging

    Trend.Shook.co

    Shook. Community powered.

    notsofancynancy

    How the hell did I get here?

    Royal Pavilion & Brighton Museums

    Behind the scenes with staff and volunteers

    ~Don't Quote Lily~

    wHeRe RaNdoMneSs CoLLiDeS WiTh MoRe RaNdoMneSs

    AnotherPhillyGuy

    The Rants from the voices

    Good2begone

    I'm not really here.

    Doing It Solo

    Parenting/ Living & Creating Solo

    Seventh Voice

    Simply my take on living life as a female with Asperger's Syndrome.

    UrbanBurbles

    Welcome to my cubbyhole

    Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

    ** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

    Medical Humour

    The largest collection of medical humour, jokes, funny quotes, interesting medical facts, medical gossips, fun games & lots more! This is a place to have fun. Come read & laugh...

    Theresa T Pham

    Passionate and Intellectually Curious Student

    %d bloggers like this: