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One chance to get it right!

Published November 26, 2013 by KalamityK

So. I’ve recycled myself a fella. I’ve known him for nearly a decade and we’ve been a couple quite a few times over that period. This time though, we’ve both come at this relationship from a very different place to any other time and it seems to be working. So much so that he keeps referring to me as his Mrs-to-be. We’ll see.

Anyway, in all of those years I’ve somehow, unintentionally, avoided Christmas and all except one birthday so buying gifts for each other is just something we’ve never really done.Christmas-Present-2

As it’s nearly Christmas I asked him what he’d like for a present. His first reply was “Whatever you want to buy me”. Yeah, that’s helpful. So I asked again and he eventually replied “Work clothes”. WHAT?! Bear in mind, sensible and comfortable is where it’s at with this man. Don’t even think of buying anything trendy… he’s not 20, you know! (He has, thankfully, toned down how often he wears trackie bottoms when I’m around.) Ok, so he’s closer to 50 than 40 but that doesn’t mean he can’t be trendy. We also live about 70 miles apart so I really don’t get to see what he wears to work as we only visit on weekends. I just have a vague idea of what he MIGHT deem acceptable.

I would love to take this man shopping and show him that trendy does not equate to wearing your jeans below your bum cheeks, (not that he’d actually ever wear jeans. He’s so very set in his ways).

jeans too low

No tight fitting ANYTHING (tighty whitey’s are out then), very specific sizing. No chest size, just shoulder to shoulder. Who measures like that?! I’ve been informed that I’ll need a tape measure to buy him a shirt. Do I look like a tailor? Stubborn, much?!

tailor

dress

I can’t condemn him entirely for the way he is with regards to his togs. We may be more similar than I originally realised. When he suggested buying me a short dress, I felt a moment of terror and insisted I’d need to be 100% happy with the outcome before venturing out in public wearing it. If I dare to wear a dress it has to be ankle length or with leggings underneath. He is of the opinion that if HE finds it attractive on me then I should just put it on and wear it regardless. Oh, how I laughed! I haven’t failed to notice those rules do not go both ways. His opinion of my legs is far better than mine but then, that’s why I asked him for my favourite perfume and not clothes. I certainly don’t have the legs to pull off a dress as short as this one, which I think is what he has in mind.

What have I let myself in for? This is such a minefield. I have the opportunity to buy this man some great clothes, make him look a bit trendier and show him that I’ve got fabulous taste, thereby opening the gates for me to buy him clothes in the future without him freaking out that I’m trying to make him look an overgrown teenager and relegating said clothes to the charity shop. I’m feeling the responsibility to get it right or I’ll lose my say on his wardrobe forever. And that just isn’t an option if I’m considering marrying the bloke!

Why couldn’t he just ask for a nice simple Black & Decker drill? Oh, the pressure!!!

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25 random things about me… if you’ve nothing else to read.

Published June 9, 2012 by KalamityK

Try doing your own. It’s not as easy as you’d think.

If nothing else, it passes the time. 

1. I nearly always think before I act…sometimes too much… if I don’t, I always seem to make the wrong choice. 

2. I can be extremely indecisive. I hate being the one to make a decision. ‘No I don’t know which film to watch. What do YOU wanna watch? I’m not fussed, what do YOU wanna watch?’ Arghhhh! It’s like being stuck on a loop.

3. I hate having to apologise to anyone, so most of the time I hold my tongue rather than say what is on the tip of it!  

4. I have an addictive personality, hence the daily dose of chocolate, carbs and facebook! (and until the newness wears off, blogging) yep, sometimes all at once. 

5. I really enjoy my own company. 

6. My knees turn to jelly & my stomach does somersaults at the thought of talking in front of groups of people. Doesn’t matter if it’s 5 people or 50. Jellysaults!

7. I have worked for the NHS for almost 16 years. 

8. I love photography and wish I’d known it 20 years ago so I could have learnt to do it as a career. 
Mind you, I also needed to know back then that I actually WANTED a career. All I wanted growing up was to get married and have tons of babies.  

9. I am a bookworm. I quite like the idea of being a librarian and have even investigated the possibility, partly because of the instant access to so many books (because I hate paying shop prices for them). Approx 80% of my books are from charity/second-hand bookshops. It’s crap money though and there isn’t the need for librarians that there once was, plus nowhere in my county does the right uni course and I’m not motivated or self disciplined enough to do distance learning.

10. My parents and my son are the most important people in my life. If I need to be wise, I pretend to be my mum and then think about what she might do or say. It’s come in handy for those times I’ve had to fake it. 

11. I’d love to be in love but I honestly do enjoy being single. I’m quite set in my ways…plus maybe I haven’t met the right man to entice me to share the remote control.

12. I never learnt to drive. If it does ever happen, I want a Robin Reliant or a pink/purple moped. Most likely a moped. 

13. I own a (pink) flute although can’t remember how to play it (apart from a couple of simple crimbo carols). 

14. I love shoes and own many many pairs but I only buy the bargains. High heels are just divine but I just can’t walk in the damn things on these bumpy, uneven pavements.

15. My bestest friend uploaded me off the internet. My other bestest friend found me at a bus stop.

16. I hate having cold feet cos it stops the rest of me warming up. I hate having hot feet cos it makes the rest of me overheat.  

17. I am a nightowl and think mornings should be banned. 

18. Hello, my name is Kalamity and I’m a hoarder. (Professional help needed) Don’t throw that out… it might come in handy!

19. I can’t/won’t leave home without putting on my lipstick, even just to pop to the shop downstairs. Forget the rest of the slap, it’s all about the lippy.  

20. I’m convinced sprouts are the work of the devil. 

21. I don’t like coffee. Tea for me please….squeeze the teabag, plenty of milk & 1 sweetener, Ta. 

22. I always have the telly on when I’m indoors whether I’m watching it or not. 

23. I cannot bear those eating sounds people make when they have bad table manners and if you eat an apple anywhere near me, it’s likely to end up out the window. I regularly resist the urge to tell people how gross it is that I can hear them eat when they don’t shut their mouths. Seriously, I don’t want to see your food swilling around your gob, neither do I want to hear it. Plus, sorry but if you chew gum it make you look like a cow chewing the cud. Maybe I’m a snob but it just looks common.  

24. I’m a gadget girl. If I had the cash, I’d buy every gadget made. 

25. I bought my son a pet snake when he was about ten or eleven. He gave it back the following year because it didn’t grow big enough to eat people. He said it was boring. 

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