What is it with hormones? How do they have the power to turn me from a patient, caring, happy woman into a short tempered, snappy, sarcastic slice of hell on legs with a chocolate addiction? I like to think I’m in control of my pms and, up to a point, I am. I do snap at people, mainly my colleagues because they’re the ones I’m with day in, day out… and they might not believe it but I really am biting my tongue. I know that if I just let go and stopped being in control then everyone within a 50 feet radius would be in a flood of tears and in desperate need of a cup of tea by the time I’d finished, including me! I can never let go completely (I did once and it ended with a 6ft5” giant of a man in tears. I’m 5ft 3 n a half). It would be the verbal equivalent of a holocaust. I’d be utterly alone so I can’t give in to the madness.
I read this on FB the other day…
“ I’m pretty sure it’s called PMS because that’s easier to say than oestrogen induced manic depressive bi-polar disorder prone to fits of psychopathic rage.” This resonated with me.
I’ve never been very good at keeping track of my dates (numbers not men) but I usually know when it’s leading up to ‘that’ time because there are one or two people at work with whom my patience levels drop rapidly when my hormones kick in. The influx of hormones into my system renders my immunity to other people’s stupidity, idiocy and general lack of common sense useless for a few days.
These people will just chatter chatter chatter; talking about inane, unimportant things like what to have for dinner (the same conversation every single day) or have the most ridiculous opinions, i.e. the colleague who thinks the folks who blew up the twin towers didn’t mean to kill lots of people… they just wanted to teach that naughty USA a lesson….but she doesn’t think mass murder was their real intent… yeah, ok. Whatever. (There’s no point getting into a discussion with this person about anything despite the temptation to want to smack the stupid right out of her). On a normal day I will hear stuff like that and I can dismiss it as stupidity and get on with my day. On a hormonal day that same stuff will drive me to the verge of wanting to rip someone’s arm off and beat them about the head with the soggy end. I get SO irate with things I consider stupid or pointless. (As if everything I say or do makes sense…I don’t think so). I just cannot hold my tongue 100% even though I know I should. I know it’s really not worth getting annoyed over but it’s like I’m taken over. I hate being angry and I really don’t want to offend anybody but I fear it’s getting worse and sooner or later I’m going to put my foot in it, bigtime.
That’s not the end of it though. Oh no. After a day at work trying not to completely alienate my entire department, I go home, grab some dinner, put on my latest recorded series of The Biggest Loser and spend the next hour crying into my potatoes. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL F…flip? It doesn’t even matter what’s on! I can be watching a comedy and if there’s a few seconds of someone being upset, I’ll get a lump in my throat and tears will well up but not quite spill over which means I have to wipe my eyes which gets make-up in my eyes which means red, watery, half crying eyes and a sore throat and the rest of the evening is a total right-off and please don’t phone cos I won’t answer. ~sniffle~ Someone feed me chocolate and hand me tissues quick!
Hormones, who needs ‘em?!