This parenting malarkey is just a bundle of conflicting emotions isn’t it? You love your kids but there are moments when you could quite happily batter them at the same time.
I’ve just spent the afternoon blitzing the manchilds bedroom. He’s moved out so it’s not technically his anymore and I need the room for friends coming to stay but his stuff is still here and as he’s unable to sort it all out himself at the moment, I did it.
As I sort through his things, I find a piece of paper from the local pawn shop. Now, I already knew that the manchild was not a stranger to this establishment and that that’s where my fold–up bike had gone but being reminded of the fact made me a little cross. Those bikes are not just expensive, they are SUPER expensive… as in hundreds and hundreds of pounds. I got mine second hand and dirt cheap, in fact I didn’t even pay for it, my mum did, but that’s not the point. And neither is the fact that I only ever used it twice. The grand sum he got for it? £100? £50 maybe? Nope. £10! The reminder itself made me grumpy but I hadn’t realised how little he got for it. That made me even more like a bear with a sore head.
So I’m sorting and clearing and grumbling to myself when the phone rings. It’s the manchild… and instantly I forget being grumpy with him and am just happy to hear his voice. The pawnshop slip didn’t seem important anymore, especially as we’d already had ‘The Discussion‘ about it when it happened. It was much more important to find out how his week has been and to just talk with each other; because despite his faults and our occasional frustrations with each other, I’m lucky to have him. He’s the only kid I’ve got and he’s irreplaceable. Besides, he’s not going to be a dumb pawnbroker-using teenager for ever.
He has dragged me onto this rollercoaster but the highs more than make up for the lows. I reckon I’ll keep the pawn-slip as a reminder to myself of this daft teenager of mine who’s making growing up such a memorable event! I’ll tuck it away somewhere safe and find it again in a decade or two, when he’s all grown up finally. And the next time I see it, instead of making me grumble, it’ll remind me of how he’s grown and how far he’s come and it’ll make me smile.
Wow! I’m actually here. So are you! O M Effin’ G! I don’t know what I’m more surprised about, the fact that you’re here reading this or that I wrote it in the first place. Don’t s’pose it matters really so… Hi!
I never thought I’d do this because I didn’t really think I had anything to say and even if I did find something to say, I couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to read it. But you know what, I need somewhere to vent…. so why not use a blog?! Some people start pages on Facebook to save their sanity but if I did that I’d no doubt cock it up and somehow mix it up with my ‘real’ profile which could be hilariously disastrous. It just aint worth the risk. I’m thinking if I’d done this years ago I might not be the mental headcase I am today.
I work more or less fulltime for the NHS in medical sciences and I’m an ordinary single mum living with a teenage son in South East England. I’ll call him the manchild because he’s legally a man but he’s still my child and he’s got some growing up to do yet. He’s already done a lot of growing up in the last 3 years but like the rest of us, he’s a work in progress. He’s got his faults and I’ve got mine. For the most part, we get on great (now) but it’s been a rough ride at times. I’m not exaggerating when I say we’ve been to hell and back in a rowboat. As he is the most prominent and loved person in my life, I suspect this blog will feature him a lot. Especially when he makes idiotic lifestyle choices that fill me with horror and dread and despair. No doubt my colleagues will feature a fair bit too as most of my day to day life is spent with them and they’ve been my daily companions for the last 10 years… and they have the power to irritate the hell outa me even though my life wouldn’t be the same without them!
There will most likely be more than a few rants about apples too. That one will explain itself eventually.
I should probably warn you now, I moan a lot. It seems like a lot to me anyway, especially since I gave up smoking a few months ago. But I see that as part of being British and I’m all about being patriotic 😉 Aren’t us Brits well known for moaning?! It’s probably not one of our better attributes but if I can’t vent somewhere in writing then there’s every chance I’ll explode. So here I am, setting up my own little cubbyhole ont’ tinterweb to vent and moan and cry and laugh and crack stupid jokes and be sarcastic. There are so many people in my life and I’ve started this because I want to try not to inflict my issues on them. I’m so much bitchier now I don’t have cigarettes to de-stress me. I’m actually rather looking forward to this! Is it wrong to enjoy the potential to grump n groan a little bit? It has to be honest or what’s the point? Ah well, it is what it is.
I will endeavour to be entertaining whilst I get my grump on!
Kalamity K 🙂